9 Key Steps to Lead Your Life By Design

As an Executive most of us get into the corporate game in our 20’s with little awareness of what life is all about. We appreciate the basics: work we enjoy and a career ladder to climb, a nice home and a good income, a life partner and a happy family – and then one day we wake up and look back and wonder where all the time went.

What have we been doing with our lives?

Have we reached our goals?

Are we leading our dream life?

Or does life feel a little hollow, without real meaning or purpose?

Have the many thousands of hours been worth it?

Do we even understand who we are and our personal mission in life?

We begin to realize that we seem to have largely got lost in the shuffle of meetings to attend, targets to reach and restructures to deal with. Who we are remains a mystery. We’re operating as a human resource in a time capsule called a corporation. And yet, within us is a spiritual pull that yearns for us to be authentic to who we are, learn from our mistakes and evolve as a more compassionate and wiser person.

We probably know our strengths and know that we’ve made a difference. But have we evolved? Have we learned to build positive, nurturing, collaborative relationships with others? Have we enjoyed some awesome life experiences? Do we have genuine personal confidence and trust in ourselves and others? Are we really happy with the way we are and how the world is?

It’s these sorts of questions that we must ask and address, if we are to create a better world. It can only happen through us. And with the advances in quantum and neuroscience we now know that we have much more power to lead a life by design instead of settling for one by default!

This week I’ve decided to reboot the program of limiting beliefs and painful memories that’s still running in my autopilot. I’m happy with some elements in my life but not with others. And I want to accelerate the appearance of my dream life. If you’d like to reboot too, take the following steps.

1. Decide to Install a New Program

Research in quantum and neuroscience tells us that we can reprogram our brain by holding and repeating new thoughts with enthusiasm so weautomatically take action based on liberating beliefs instead of limiting beliefs. It’s our limiting beliefs that hold us back and new liberating beliefs that chart our way forward.

We can use our mind to revise past events and rehearse future events. We can release unpleasant memories and imagine wonderful new possibilities. Our mind doesn’t know the difference between what is real and what is imagined, either way creates a memory or imprint on our brain. We have the power to master our mind. Commit to giving it a go.

2. Create A VISION Of Your Ideal Future

Decide absolutely on what you really really want in your life. Look to your horizon. Make it clear, make it as specific as you can, quantify elements and make it highly descriptive so that you can touch, sense, smell, see and hear all this taking place for real. Add in the memorable thrill and excitement of one of your life’s highlights so that you connect your new goals with an awesome memory and existing neural network.

This story is YOUR VISION of your life in the future. It gives you direction and purpose. Create a Vision Board of your ideal life so that you can see it every day! Seeing the same pictures over and over helps to program our subconscious. I’ve used Vision Boards over the years to great effect – in some areas of my life! Others need more work.

3. Leverage The Power Of INTENTION

 

To take this up a notch, think not only of the things, relationships and experiences you want in your life. Expand your mind to how you’d really like to contribute to the world, how you’d like to be of service. This has the hallmark of an INTENTION. Wayne Dyer’s written a terrific book with this very title.

Intention resonates at a higher frequency than DESIRE. Together they are extremely powerful when it comes to creating a very focused commitment on how you wish to give to the world and the enthusiasm and unbridled joy that accompanies how you wish to live in the world.

What is the actual difference, precisely put, that you’d like to make in the world?

Or how will your contribution specifically make the world a better place to be?

Intention takes you into the post-conventional world of the Catalyst. As Gandhi said, we must become the change we wish to see in the world. Inner change and outer change work hand in hand.

4. MIND THE GAP! In Your Current Life Experience

Wherever there are gaps between our present reality and our future vision, there will be subconscious limiting beliefs in our autopilot, even if you’re not aware of what they are. To address this, create a declaration that affirms the opposite for every major gap you currently see between your present reality and your future vision.

“I am an extraordinarily inspiring and strategic Executive Director.”

“I earn $… pa and live an abundant life.”

“I enjoy great relationships with all of my family.”

“I have a fulfilling life-long relationship with a wonderful, caring partner”

And then add a few generic ones along the lines of:

“I easily achieve all my goals and dreams.”

“I live each day with passion and purpose.”

“I deserve happiness, health and wellbeing.”

According to John Assaraf, best selling author of The Answer, convincingly reciting personally relevant liberating beliefs while connecting them to the joyous feelings that accompanied a previous personal highlight, 3 times a day at the same time morning, noon and night for 30 days, will rewire your autopilot. Clarity, relevance, emotion and repetition are key.

Your brain will literally change its perception and interpretation of what you see after that time as new neural pathways create new lenses on your world.

5. Tune Into Your New RADAR

Having a VISION of your ideal future, the INTENTION to be of service and a set of LIBERATING BELIEFS that will reframe limiting beliefs to support you to give and live into your dream life, sets up the energy field of the Emergent Future. This puts you in the “present” where your subconscious moves you into “flow”.

This special blend has the effect of creating a new RADAR that will highlight relevant opportunities and resources that are appropriate for you. Your Radar is a reticular activating system that works like a google search engine. You enter your dream life along with liberating beliefs and your Radar seeks out the means to achieve it.

It’s certainly worked for me. Upon realizing that I was choosing to lead a rather unconventional corporate gypsy lifestyle moving repeatedly between Sydney and London and occasionally back to Auckland, changing jobs every time, I decided that a new and better career opportunity would meet me at every turn. And it always did. Every time.

The most astonishing time was the day I walked into Korn Ferry’s offices in Sydney after working with Shell in London. The head of their Management Assessment Division had just resigned that very day so they needed a new expert instantly. I happened to be already familiar with their distinctive Leadership Assessment instrument and took up the role the very next week!

6. Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway

Your new Radar will change what you “see” and then it is up to you to recognise you are changing course and take action – by feeling the fear and doing it anyway, as best selling author Susan Jeffers put it.

Once our subconscious mind, our autopilot, is redirected to set a new course by our conscious mind, we can and do change our reality. Of course it will want to take the familiar routes it’s accustomed to and will raise a red flag whenever we veer off our customary path until it’s better acquainted with our new one.

This is our psycho-cybernetic mechanism that works like a thermostat maintaining the same temperature. It wants to keep things as they have been, to stay in our comfort zone as opposed to moving into our growth zone. It sets up the robot’s caution from “Lost in Space” (a children’s program that had me hiding behind the curtains!) of “Danger, danger.”

But if we acknowledge that this resistance is simply mechanics, we can override any doubt and anxiety that comes up by reassuring our old self that it’s all okay, we’re on an adventure to something new.

If we embrace the fear, receive it gratefuly as a signal that our change in course is working, then we can move rapidly forward into our new life by design rather than settling for the one we have by default. Navigating our way in the growth zone is uncomfortable. We need to eagerly look out for our next alert and discern, is there really danger lurking or is this the great unknown where my new adventure lies?

7. Delete your ANTs and Override “Not Good Enough”

The other thing you must do is to delete the negative thoughts that come up in your mind. Dr Daniel Amen, Author of Change Your Brain, Change Your Life, calls these “automatic negative thoughts” or ANTs.

They are often not even our own voice but the voices of teachers, parents or classmates who were also subjected to negative programming and automatically transferred the same onto us without thinking.

Whenever you come across an ANT, delete it in your mind and replace it with the opposite. Or, easier still, decide on one single succinct declaration that has the power to supersede all ANTs.

“I am a powerful person. I can do and achieve anything I set my mind to!”

“Be quiet. My highest self is in charge.”

I think the most disempowering belief in the present world is the thought of being “Not Good Enough.” This is part of our twentieth century culture and is conditioned within us at a very early age. It is critical to override it!

Oh, and by the way, if your outward expression is negative in tone or language, then you’ll have to change this first. Any negativity, particularly throw away lines which you may not even be aware of, will keep you entrapped in that very dynamic.

Complaining and criticising is like a virus that anyone can become immune to if we stop giving our power away by being compliant and we set our own frequency onto a purely positive channel. This does not mean rose-coloured glasses, but a dispassionate, compassionate view of reality expressed in a clear, kind and understanding way using positive language. It’s very easy to replace “poor shot” with “not the best shot” to maintain a positive vibe.

8. Create an Aspirational Leadership Brand Declaration

I’ve coined the above in relation to our life as a whole. In my holistic coaching work we focus particularly on creating and fine-tuning an Aspirational Leadership Brand Declaration (ALBD). This focuses on your identity – who you design yourself to be in the most authentic way you know how. Here’s a generic example. You can start with this and then fine-tune it to make it your own unique value proposition in life.

“I am an inspiring strategic leader who makes a significant difference in the world to make it a better place.” [Always in the present tense starting with “I am”]

9. Use The MAGIC Formula!

This might sound a bit crazy but honestly, programming your mind as set out above can and will make a big difference in your life. I do believe there is more to living a full life which involves healing with the heart and tuning into spirit to complement reprogramming with the mind, and I will talk to that another time.

In the meantime I’d like to share with you my first ever MAGIC formula which is phenomenally powerful because it includes the whole array of mindfulness, heart, affirmations and spiritual intent all in one!! This formula is not designed to just say, it’s designed to create a Movie of your Life in your Mind and Heart. Remember you are the Star of your Movie, its Director, Script Writer, Producer, Casting Director, Special Effects, Costume Designer etc

M is for Mastery. I am the Master of my destiny, the Captain of my ship.

A is for Abundance. I live an Abundant life where everything I need and want comes to me at the perfect time.

G is for Gratitude. I am grateful for the sun and rain,  … [create your own list]

I is for Imagination. Take the time to dream up your ideal future life, scene by scene in your imagination. Make it as real as you can in your mind like a movie.

C is for Celebration. Finally raise your spirits to feel jubilant and exhilarated, on top of the world, as you celebrate the highlights in your life to date and the amazing things you accomplish in the future as if they are already done!

Questions For You

Is your current life all you want it to be? If you could realize your full potential to grow into the greatest person you have the potential of becoming, what could your life look like?

Life is precious. We must learn to spend it wisely and create it mindfully with an open heart. Practice each step persistently and patiently. Your time will come.

Have you used some of these techniques to change your experience of life to one that is truly magical and uplifting? Would love to hear about your magical moments in the comments below!

And if you’d like an Executive Coach to support you to navigate the new terrain that will lead to living the life of your dreams, click here. I’d love to help.

I hope you enjoyed this post. It’s my intent to enable clients to make the quantum shift from business operations management to inspiring strategic leadership so they can bring their Vision, Values and Voice to life.

 If you would like to keep track of my posts and updates, you can follow me on LinkedIn or Twitter 

If you would like a pdf of this post, click here

Please join my Strategic Holistic Leadership Group to continue the conversation

If you are interested in a Complimentary Coaching Meeting with me, pleaseclick here to find out more about my coaching approach and make a brief application 

All the very best,

Antoinette

Executive Coach in Strategic and Holistic Leadership

2 Replies to “9 Key Steps to Lead Your Life By Design”

  1. Thanks Antoinette,
    I really enjoyed this article and is a great reminder of what I know but do not do enough.
    Cheers,
    John

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: